Saying Goodbye to a Huge Influence in My Life....

 

 

One of the biggest influences of my life was my Uncle Donzer...

He was a self taught artist: painting, drawing, sewing/quilting(he wouldn't admit that last one, but he did that too) and a well respected photographer....

 

He used to take me to the Albany Herald, where he worked, when I was little and I thought he was a magician when he disappeared through the revolving door for the dark room...

 

He used take me on assignment with him when he had an idea for a picture for the paper and he used me a lot for fun side shoots.... I loved it...

 

 

I can remember drawing all of the time when I was younger and the biggest memory of that is when I asked Uncle Donzer how to draw....

 

He handed me this:

 

 

He said.... If you can draw this... than you can draw anything....

 

He later gave me some of his drawing books that he used when he was younger to help him draw...

 

 

and

 

 

When I was 9 he gave me my first real artist tackle box and in it, it had:

 

*Rapidograph Pens

*India Ink

*Palettes

*Charcoal (stick and vine)

*Blending Sticks

*Graphite

*Moldable Erasers

*Newprint Pad

*Watercolor brush

 

We sat and talked about what each thing was for and he showed me techniques for ink washes and he left me amazed at all of the possibilities....

 

I was so scared to use some of the nicer tools inside for fear of ruining them.... that is until I went College and entered into a Fine Arts program....

I used all of those tools in my classes... the 100 hour pen and ink project, the graphite and white enamel project and so many more....

 

I still carry this tackle box with me to every arts show, festival, event that I go to....

 

When I took a photography class he gave me an amazing set of books for Christmas that I still love to look through:

 

(this is just one of the many of the set that he gave me)

 

He has been the biggest artist influence of my life.... I owe so much to this man.... He

nurtured my creativity and taught me to see things that no one else could see...

 

He had the ability to see incredible possibilities in ordinary things and I'm grateful to have inherited that....

 

I'll miss you more than I ever let you know....

 

Bye Donzer

 

Heather

 

 

 

 



Selfish

 

I've been having all of these feelings lately:

 "I'm not good enough.", "I'm not doing enough." "I'm disappointing people." 

 

Staying busy has been my life for a while, but this year it's been different, harder, more consuming.  I changed jobs, I started school again, I met an Amazing Man and it's been an Awesome adventure, but I've had to sacrifice a lot of things that I used to enjoy doing: hanging out with friends, going out randomly during the week to hang out, spending time with my family.  I've gone 3 months without hanging out with my bestie, I've been too busy to help friends out..... So I guess that makes me Selfish right?

 

 

Welcome to my Schedule:

 

5:45am:  Get up and start getting ready...Make coffee

 

6:20:  Hit the road for the 40 minute drive it takes me to get to school

 

7:05 - 2:30 :  Get to school, sign in, and set up for clients for the day if any, work on workbooks and other tasks

 

2:45:  Hit the road for the 40 minute drive back to town... sometimes getting stuck behind the slowest tractors ever....

 

3:45 Get to work early to change clothes and prepare for work mode.

 

4:00 - 9:30 or 10: Clock in and get to work, serve customer, wait tables, bus tables, closing procedures.

 

9:30 or 10:00: Drive home.

 

10:15 - 11:00:  Wind down, take a shower and go to bed.....

 

That is my Monday - Thursday schedule

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm lucky if I get Friday off completely and then I usually work Saturday night and Sundays are my main day off in which sometimes I clean, do laundry, or if I just want to do "me" stuff...

 

I don't really get that much free time, but when I do I want to either work on research for projects, work on projects, go on a daytrip out of town before my night shift, school work, read a book or watch a movie and if I'm lucky go swimming....

 

Those free moments are time for me to actually be alone.... I need those times.... because when I don't have those moments I get anxious....

 

Anxiety has been an issue for me for a while.... When you have so much on your plate with school, work, finances, lack of sleep, trying to figure out how it will all work out, how to be able to do all of the things that you love and be social at the same time.... the cracks begin to show... I get irritable easier, I want to sleep more, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, getting emotional...and my stomach issues flare up.... It's a constant struggle for me.... sometimes I even have panic attacks...and only a select few people have ever seen those....

 

That's me being Selfish....

 

and I'm about to get even more Selfish..... I want to get back to making again and I'm focusing some of that free time on getting back into it again...  If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter or my Facebook.... I'm working on building my drawing skills back up, purchasing new supplies..... I'm getting ready for some creative opportunities.... Within the next few months I'll be doing some live demoing, making some new pieces: paintings, prints, drawings, etc...

 

 

So, while my social media may look like Sunshine, Rainbows, Beauty Products, Food, Delicious Beer etc.  I'm Human.... I'm flawed.... and I have issues.....just like everyone else...

 

Heather

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confessions of a Lost Artist.....

 

I guess I've always been artistic..... When I was a child I always had crayons, colored pencils and paper with me....  It's always kind of been my escape...or my refuge....However you want to say it....  I lost a lot of that by the time that I got to high school because I worked.... I was creative in other ways.... dying my hair....playing with make-up....etc., but drawing has always been my home....So.... I decided that I would study and get my degree in art when I went off to college...

 

I studied art history, the philosophy of art, painting, drawing, sculpture, ceramics, printmaking along with the prerequisites such as: psychology, sociology, chemistry, history, etc.... and I went through a lot of changes in college, but the biggest proof of it all is the art that I made while I was there for 6 years.....

 

I learned how to have a voice for all of the things that I wanted to say....

 

I finally had a senior thesis show which showcased what I wanted to talk about.... it was sociologically relevant, politically, referenced history and my love for what I was doing all at once and in a lot of different mediums......

 

I received lots of great reviews of it.... even after I graduated....

I got to show at a local museum....

 

Had an article written about my work and where I wanted to go with it from there.....

 

I couldn't figure out what to do next.... so I painted a wall....

 

Next, I figured if I couldn't top that show.... then I would create something new with the pieces....

I deconstructed the fabrics into clutches, messenger bags and scarves.... turned the other pieces into home décor pieces..... Art that people could wear and carry with them rather than just hang on a wall and forget about..... It was all well received....

 

I joined local artist groups and met a lot of people that were creating and began doing local artist events and meeting some really amazing people, selling art pieces, donating pieces to causes, co-ops, and building a good reputation in the community,  but after a while that became stagnant for me...it begin to feel counterproductive... and more hassle than what it was worth....

 

But out of that I've made some Amazing friends.....

 

I've collaborated by doing make-up for photo shoots with these amazing ladies... and we're still have more in the works..... and I can't wait to see what's coming up for us next....

 

 

 

Here is the link to see my bags and scarves:

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.385192048159412.101777.290639337614684&type=3

 

Mural:

 

 

Art Events:

 

 

 

 

Photoshoot (JenX Photography... Hair: Charlene Maldonado Makeup: Me)

 

 

 I've made pieces since then... commissions.... a messenger bag... and dining room set....

 

 

Since all of these.... I've gone back to school for Esthetics....kind of ironic... I studied Esthetics as a philosophy in college and now I'm studying Esthetics as a profession....

 

I've felt lost over the past 4 months because I haven't really had that place.... that sanctuary that drawing, painting, printing and even make-up gives me.... I've been so busy with school, work and school and work and school and work....only a little bit of sleep... and the loop goes on....

 

Can I truly have it all?....

 

I haven't drawn since December.... Haven't painted since April of last year.... Haven't sewn since December.... Haven't created anything of substance from myself, for myself....

 

It's time for a "New Beginning"....

 

 

 

My Passion is missing... and I want it Back.....

 

Heather